Why?

Why is it that I let what you do to me affect me? Why do I allow you to get to me, when I know that your intentions are not at all what they are made out to be? Why am I so lonely when I never had you to begin with? Why do I care? Why did I think that you were the best choice I could have ever made? Why do I cry myself to sleep every night over you? Why did you yell at me? Why is it that every time I see you, all you do is glare at me? Why all of a sudden are you the victim? Why NOW? Why can't you just go away? Why do I focus on you and your needs still? Why is it that no matter what you always get what you want but I do not even get the light of day? Why can't it be about me and not you? Why can't I tell my kids the truth about you? Why can't you move on and leave me and my kids alone? Why is life so hard for me? Why can't I let my hair down? Why can't I be grateful for what I have? Why do I question my beliefs? Why? Why do I have to pay? Why am I not happy, when I have so much to be happy about? Why did I let myself get overweight? Why do I still suffer for your meanness? Why are you still here? Why do I have to keep all of your stuff? Why did you call me that? Why did you hurt me? Why was I always the one that was wrong? Why was nothing good enough? Why do I hate you?Why is it all about YOU?

Soup! Mmmmmm

So tonight I really wanted to have soup. Last week I bought 4 crowns of broccoli and 2 bundles of asparagus. I needed to use it so that it did not go to waste. So I decided to make soup with it. I did not really follow a recipe, I looked at one in a cook book from my sister Sharon, but decided that I would experiment. So I cut up the two veggies after I rinsed them first, and put them in my pot, then I put in water to cover the bottom of the pot and then some. Then I covered the pot and let that steam and boil till the veggies were soft. Then I took this hand blender (which I have had for I don't know 8 years, and I have never ever used it. I never knew what to use if for.) and I blended the veggies till they were still a little chunky but also a little smooth.
Then I added about 4 cups of chicken broth and let that come to a boil. I added some fresh garlic and some other spices for taste. Then I took a flour and milk mixture (about 1/2 cup of flour and 3 cups of milk) and added it to the pot. I brought that to a boil and got it to thicken. Then I took it off the stove and added about 1 1/2 cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese. This thickened it up a bit more which I knew was going to happen. Then after all that I served the soup.

We had it with my sister's rolls. My girls had seconds, and kristen said to me, "Mom I am so so happy, do you know why? it's because I love this soup." My brother came over to help me with something too and I gave him a bowl and he really liked it too, and he said that he does not really like soup. So there you go. It really was yummy and I even made enough to freeze some.

Marble rewards

So my sister Kim and I were talking and I was complaining (what's new) about how Kristen has a tantrum about every 30 seconds (no joke) and I just did not know how to get through to her. I try to praise her but she gets made if i praise her the wrong way. It is ridiculous really. Anyways Kim said I should do a reward system, like she has to earn marbles and if she gets so many then she can get a prize. I thought Kristen would love this but I need to include Baili in this as well. So I thought about it and decided that it was a great idea and would work well for the both of them, and I was going to do it. We went to the dollar store and got some marbles and they got to pick out their own bowl to put the marbles in. Then we went around and I let them pick what was going to go into the prize basket.
Here they are with their marble bowls and showing that they are empty but not for long.

Here is the prize basket. We went a little crazy in the store, I was surprised at how much fun and cool things they had there. We got some things that had more than one in the package, like pencils, and a package of lizards, and Slinky's, and little things of lip gloss. So it stretched it out that way too. It's fun to see what they pick out when they get five marbles.

Right now we are still in the beginning stages of the system, so I give Kristen a marble at any chance I get because she gets them taken away as quickly as she gets them. But she is learning and already she has not been able to choose a prize because she did not have 5 marbles. Oh that is the other thing, they have to have 5 marbles by the morning or they do not get a prize. Baili is also not so keen on this because she has gone 2 days with no prize. But she will get it. Anyways I thought that you would like to know what we are up to in our household.

Mom's rolls

My friend Dedra posted and asked for roll recipes. Well my mind quickly went to my mom's rolls which are a favorite for everybody who tastes them. They are so Hardy and also the perfect consistency. She only makes them two times a year or at least that's the only time that I can remember her making them and that was Christmas and Thanksgiving. Should would make them early in the day and the smell of them would linger in the house for hours before we could enjoy them, well hours before everyone else could enjoy then...you see I remember quite often sneaking into the kitchen to have a taste of the wonderful goodness while they were still warm. This is the best way to enjoy these rolls, right out of the oven. So for you tasting pleasure I have the recipe which I have attempted a few times at, it does take some practice for the rolls to turn out just like my mom's but it is well worth the practice. So enjoy and leave me a note letting me know what you think.

1 cup Hot water1 table spoon sugar1 table spoon Yeast
combine in a bowl until it starts to bubble about a min.

add 2 cups of flour 1/4 cup powdered milk, 1 egg
mix up and then add 1/4 cup oil and a teaspoon salt
knead in flour till the dough is soft
grease the bowl and let the dough rise, punch dough and makes rolls.
Bake 375-400 for 20 min or till golden brown on top.